Not Meant to Be
by Melody Syper Carston
Summary: No matter how many times i try to explain that I'm not there to gloat about my rank he ignoress me! "Like... l-love?" Songfic! MelloXNear!


**A/N: heyy! ****I am like so hyper right now because I drank like three Cokes and some chocolate frosting! Sooo I'm trying to be productive and update because I've been slacking off. (sad isn't it?) yaaaay! Imam make this one a songfic to the song Not Meant to Be by Theory of a Deadman! (that took me forever to type because I kept messing up! Haha I hate that!)**

**Oh! and thank you Nanny-panter for correcting my few POV mistakes! (heh... i had to reread this about three times before i found it! haha)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song or death note. (I want a death note for world domination purposes!) but I own the plot! …that's about it…**

**ONWARD TO THE AWESOME STORY OF MINE!**

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It's never enough to say I'm sorry  
It's never enough to say I care  
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me  
And knowing that if I give that to you  
I might just disappear

"Damn it Near you're always a piece of shit!" Mello yelled at the albino who had just recently scored one point higher on their exams.

"Sorry Mello." I said quietly. Of course that did stop him from attacking me.

He growled and punched me hard in the stomach making me double over in pain. He knocked the breath out of me with that blow. "You don't care." He growled kicking me in the ribs.

I curled into a ball protectively and said "How do you know? Wh-what if I _do_ care?"

"That's a lie." Mello said pulling me up by my hair and slamming me into the wall. "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You're a self-centered albino brat."

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

"Fine! It's a lie." I yelled face still pressed firmly against the wall. I was thrown down onto the hardwood floor hitting my shoulder.

Mello punched me in the jaw "I know." He pulled me into a sitting position. "You never have cared for anyone. I win." He smirked and walked off victoriously.

The problem was, it was never a lie when I said that I truly cared. I did. He just didn't understand.

It's like one step forward and two steps back  
No matter what I do you're always mad  
And I, I can't change your mind

Of course being the stubborn person that you were I wouldn't be able to change your mind unless I had proof. Even then you'd be mad.

"_I hate you." _It echoed in my head ripping my heart into pieces. _"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I. Hate. You." _The words you told me so much, the words you would think I was used to by now, the words you would think I choose to ignore; they hurt like touching your hand to a burning stove.

I sighed and stood up. I shuffled towards the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I now had a scrape running from my neck down my shoulder, a huge red mark that was turning purple slowly on my jaw. I unbuttoned my shirt and noted the three bruises on my ribs where Mello had kicked me. My head was tender where he pulled my hair and slammed me into the wall.

"I don't hate you Mello." I murmured to myself.

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street  
I can't give you what you want  
And it's killing me

"Why is it so hard to get through to him?" I asked shuffling off towards my room after buttoning my shirt back up.

"Near." That, oh, so familiar voice said behind me.

"Mello." I answered back not turning to see him. I entered my room and sat down on the floor in front of my dice tower I had been working on for the past two days. It was taller than me and very intricate.

He followed me into my room.

"Do you need something?" I asked coldly as I stood on my chair to reach the top of my tower. I held my breath as the tower slowly started to lean '_don't fall_!' my mind yelled. I let out a small sigh of relief only loud enough for me to hear when it stopped leaning and stood straight.

"No." he said simply frowning when the tower didn't fall.

"Then why are you here?" I asked placing another die on top. The tower wobbled again but this time it shattered. Dice flew everywhere. '_Damn it_!'

And I, I'm starting to see  
Maybe we're not meant to be

Mello laughed. "That's why. I knew it wouldn't last much longer." He snickered and walked off back to his room.

I sighed and sat back down. _"I knew it wouldn't last…" _

"Of course I wouldn't." I answered not caring if he heard me or not. "Nothing lasts. You just wish it did so you wouldn't have to spend forever alone." I tugged at piece of hair watching the dark hours of each day creep up and pass ever so slowly. I never moved from my spot on the floor though.

It's never enough to say I love you  
No, it's never enough to say I try

I would never get up the courage to tell Mello how I really felt. Not in a million years. That did not mean that I tried to _show_ him how I really felt. I just couldn't find the courage to walk up to him and tell him right out.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back slightly humming quietly.

Mello loved Matt not me. He hated me; he's told me that. I know he loves Matt more than a friend. I know I'm nothing more than a worthless piece of shit just like he calls me all the time.

It's hard to believe  
That there's no way out for you and me  
And it seems to be the story of our lives

"Second again Mello." Matt said from behind his best friend.

I cringed slightly when I heard that meaning that I was first once again and that meant another beating from him.

Mello growled. "Of course." He yelled laughing humorlessly. "Of course." He turned towards me with a huge malicious grin on his face as he advanced on me his grin turned into a snarl. "Of course!" he yelled louder

"M-mello…" I said holding my hands up in innocence. "P-please I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah. You didn't do _anything_." He said sarcastically

Nobody wins when everyone's losing!

"But I didn't do—" he punched me in the jaw making me bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood.

"It doesn't matter! You still beat me so I get to beat you." He said back shaking his head. He punched me in the chest.

I coughed trying to regain the power of being able to breathe. "Mello. Stop!" I said quietly.

He wrapped his hands around my neck shutting off my oxygen supply.

"Please!" I begged. I tried to rip his hands away. My fingernails dug into his arms enough to make him bleed but he wrapped his hands around my neck tighter.

"Mello! Stop! You're gonna kill him!" Matt yelled.

It's like one step forward and two steps back  
No matter what I do you're always mad  
And I, I can't change your mind  
I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street  
I can't give you what you want  
And it's killing me  
And I, I'm starting to see  
Maybe we're not meant to be

"We never get along." He and I said at the same time. "It's impossible!"

I glared at him before standing up and walking off to my room. I was just at my door when the incessant redhead came around the corner looking directly at me.

"Near!" he said exasperated.

I rolled my eyes and shuffled into my room shutting the door in his face. "What?" I asked after locking the door and sliding down into a sitting position next to the wall.

"You know he's competitive! He can't help that he gets mad when you beat him! After a while it gets tiring when someone constantly beats you!" he yelled back.

"I know. He beats me up every time."

There's still time to turn this around  
You could be building this up instead of tearing it down  
But I keep thinking  
Maybe it's too late

Matt sighed. "Maybe if you talk to him you'd understand where this is coming from." Then it was silent. "He used to beat me up too when I first came here and I was ranked third. It was to protect his title as second so he wouldn't have to struggle to keep second let alone first. Then we got to know each other and we're great friends now."

I tried my best to ignore it. "Every time I try to talk to him he thinks I'm there to gloat about being in first. He won't even acknowledge my presence unless he asks me a question first or we get our test results back and he's second again." I picked up a stack of tarot cards and started to build a pyramid with them.

"…" Matt's head thumped against the door. He sighed again and muttered something that was too low for me to hear. "Well…"

"Well what?" I asked twisting a piece of hair through my fingers. "If you could convince him that I just wanted to talk to him…"

"I don't know Near… you think it'd work?" he asked warily. I heard tapping from the other side of the door.

"yes… I do." I muttered. "Will you help me?"

"Yeah I guess…" there was shuffling. "I'll be right back."

It's like one step forward and two steps back  
No matter what I do you're always mad

"Okay, Near! Fine I'll listen to what you have to say. Make it quick." Mello said from the other side of the door. "Let me in!" he thumped on the door multiple times.

I opened the door and let him in. "Come in, Mello." I mumbled.

He scowled and strolled into the room quietly. He lounged lazily in my desk chair and watched me. "So… what's up?"

I shut the door and turned to look him in the eye. I sat on the edge of my bed and asked quietly, "Do you hate me?"

And I, I can't change your mind

"Why does it matter?" he asked. "You've never cared before when I say that I hated you."

"Do you hate me?" I asked again."You didn't answer my question; you merely asked your own question and eluded mine."

"Yes. I. Hate. You." He growled. His hand was clutched into a fist. "Why? Do you hate me too?"

"I don't hate you. I don't even mildly dislike you. Why? I was curious to see if you really meant it when you said you… hated me. Why do you hate me?"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait… you don't hate me… or 'mildly dislike me'… so… you… like me?" Mello's eyes went wide.

I forced my blush down. "Again you didn't answer my question. Why do you hate me?"

"You're number one, no one is afraid of you, you could have friends millions of friends while I have Matt and only Matt… You seem to have no problem keeping your rank as number on while I have to study for hours and still only get second…" he listed the on his fingers. "Mainly the friends part though… and you being number one."

"Why do you want friends?" I asked. I never seemed to find the need for friends. "They always tried to speak to you when you were studying, they come to you asking for help."

"They understand you, they'll listen to you… you don't understand this because you've never found the need for friends unlike me because I need someone to _listen_ to me." He yelled back.

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street  
I can't give you what you want  
And it's killing me

"I-I don't… understand…" I muttered giving me a confused look.

He sighed. "You have no emotions! That's why you don't have friends! You don't understand why anyone has friends because you have no idea what they mean when you _do_ have a friend!"

"No one wants to be my friend… no one likes me." I said staring at my hands. "They think I'm too smart… they are afraid of me."

"They don't want to be out smarted! Near, everyone needs someone there for them!"

"they would bring my ranking down. I would have less time to study." I said frowning. He didn't seem to understand.

"No… you would have their opinion too. You might feel stupid but think about it: you'd have someone there that cares about you. you would learn their opinion on a problem giving you more answers. You would have a group to back you up on an idea everybody else thinks is stupid." He rolled his eyes.

I sighed. "Who wants to be _my_ friend? Nobody likes the 'big-headed albino piece of shit'." I groaned and fell back on my bed shutting my eyes.

Mello snickered. "You know only _I_ call you that. Others think I'm being 'mean'" he laughed again. "Others think you're awesome." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Especially Linda."

We both shuddered.

And I, I'm starting to see  
Maybe we're not meant to be

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed _that_?" he asked eyes going wide in shock. "You haven't, have you?"

I shook my head and stood up. "I don't pay attention to her. She's to… ignorant… to understand me."

He snickered. "I don't blame you. She obsesses a bit too much over you too… it's disgusting." He gagged. "ugh! Okay… so who is smart enough to understand you?"

"L, Matt, and you." I answered calmly. "Of course, Matt never pays attention to me anyways… and L rarely visits… so that leaves you."

Mello blinked. "So…"

"…" I didn't know how to explain. "I-I"

"You…?" he blushed slightly. "…Like me?"

I nodded blushing fiercely.

"Not just friendly like, huh? like… l-love?"

I shrugged. "I don't know… I-I can't explain it…"

He muttered something that sounded like "That was so cliché."

I glared at him. My hands trembled as I stepped forward and pressed my lips onto his in a tender kiss. Mello's eyes shot open in surprise before he closed them and wrapped his arms around my waist. I tangled my hands in his soft blonde hair. We both pulled back at the same time gasping for air.

"I love you." I blurted out blushing darkly.

He kissed my forehead and chuckled. "I love you too, Near." He stood up and strutted out of my room with his hands on his hips.

It's like one step forward and two steps back  
No matter what I do you're always mad  
And I, baby I'm sorry to see  
Maybe we're not meant to be

I grinned. 'Maybe I can change his mind.' I thought sitting down on the floor and beginning to make a new tower of dice.

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X~*~X

**A/N: woo! It's complete! I'm so proud of myself because that is the longest kissing scene I've ever written! Yay for me! Okay soo tell me what you think and look up the song if you don't know it (doubt it. It's a popular song) watch the music video if you need to for the ending because even though it says 'Maybe we're not meant to be' the end of the music video the couple is back together.**

**I might make this a two-shot songfic if you tell me to! I kind of have an idea if you want it!**

**Review and Mello will share his chocolate bar with you… (raises eyebrows suggestively)…**

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